Deleted Scene: The Night of the Whirring Death
by The Wild Wild Whovian
Summary: Dr Loveless told that incredible airhead Priscilla that some time he would explain the facts of life to her. Well, that time is now. A Challenge Accepted story.


**Deleted Scene: The Night of the Whirring Death**

_Plot bunny courtesy of an online friend. Thanks, AG!_

_Oops - and a belated thank you to California Gal for beta-reading. *blush*_

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"Dr Loveless!"

The little wizard frowned. "Oh, what is it now?" he grumbled. "I'm quite busy, as anybody can plainly see! I…" He paused in loading the darts into the little cannon and looked over his shoulder. Standing on the stairway was the wide-eyed innocent whose grandfather's toy shop the good doctor had taken over. "Why, Priscilla my dear!" said Loveless, putting on an avuncular air of affection. "Were you looking for me?"

"Oh yes, Dr Loveless!" she exclaimed, as breathless as ever. "I'm so glad I found you! I was hoping you could explain it to me now." She blinked at him happily, expectantly.

"Ah… explain?" Whatever was the silly child going on about? Couldn't she see how busy he was?

"Oh yes, Dr Loveless! Don't you remember what you said earlier, that someday you would explain all these things to me yourself?"

"All these things?"

"Oh yes! About, about kissing, you know, and that disturbing young man."

"Oh," he chuckled, "_that! _Yes, yes, I did say I would explain. But now is really not the best time, my dear."

"Oh, but I keep thinking about Mr West and how he kissed me." With a look of extreme puzzlement on her child-woman face, she said, "It's so different from when my mother and grandfather used to kiss me. But you said you would tell me _why _it's different."

"Ah. So I did, my dear, so I did. But at this moment I'm very busy, so you'll just have to wait until…"

Starry eyed, she interrupted him with, "I like kissing! Do you and Miss Antoinette kiss?"

Loveless' jaw hung open for a moment. What kind of question…? He snapped his mouth shut and crossed his arms as he glared at the girl. "That is absolutely none of your business!" he proclaimed.

"Oh!" A look of contrition settled on the girl's face. "I… I'm sorry, Dr Loveless," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Well, well, I forgive you then, Priscilla. You didn't know any better. Plainly we do need to have that talk about the, ah, the birds and the bees. But now is simply not a good…"

Again the girl interrupted. "So if Miss Antoinette doesn't kiss you, I suppose she must kiss Voltaire?"

"Kiss… kiss Voltaire!" The little doctor's face went three shades of red with fury, his electric blue eyes glaring. "Antoinette most certainly does NOT kiss Voltaire! Oh…!" He flapped his hands dismissively at the cannon and the darts, and pointed at the bottom step of the staircase. "Sit!" he ordered.

Priscilla sat. With her head thus slightly below the level of his, and as her wide naïve eyes watched him admiringly, Dr Loveless harrumphed, folding his hands across his waist, and fixed the girl with a stern gaze. "The first thing you must know, my dear, is that kissing is a very serious business. You shouldn't go about kissing just anyone, nor should you ask other people whom they have been kissing."

"I shouldn't?" She stared at him as this bit of information trickled down through the tapioca of her brain. "Oh! Then Miss Antoinette _does _kiss you!"

Oh, the infuriating innocence of the child! "I didn't say that! I said that whether she kisses me or not is none of _your _business." Loveless controlled himself with an effort. Then, a sly look creeping over his face, he added, "Now, you may continue to kiss Mr West, dear child."

She perked up and clapped her hands. "Oh, may I? Thank you, Dr Loveless!"

"Yes, yes." A pretty face to perhaps keep the government agent distracted. "But you mustn't let him go beyond kissing," Loveless warned, thinking, let's keep Mr West frustrated as well as distracted.

"Beyond?"

"Yes, Priscilla my child. Nothing beyond kissing."

"But, Dr Loveless, what _is _beyond kissing?" she asked in her utter naïveté.

"Why, there's… Ah, that is, there's…" Again the doctor's face began to burn bright red. "Well…" He scowled and blurted out, "Well, eventually, there's a baby."

Priscilla's jaw dropped. "A _baby?"_

"Yes," said the doctor shortly. "A baby. And that, my dear, is why you shouldn't go beyond kissing." He turned to go back to his work.

"But I don't understand. What _is _there beyond kissing that you say I shouldn't do, and how does it wind up with a baby?"

"It… Oh, it just does, that's all! Now, I'm very busy and I need to… Ah!" Someone had just entered the room. "Antoinette my dear! I was just looking for you."

"Yes, Miguelito?" she said with great affection.

"Now I want you to take Priscilla away and explain to her about the birds and the bees."

Antoinette blinked and shot a glance at the sweet little innocent thing still sitting there on the bottom step. "You want _me _to…?" Her eyes narrowed. "I thought _you _promised to explain all that to her."

"I did and I have - to a certain extent, that is. The rest, I think, needs a woman's touch. Take her away and explain the rest woman to woman," he commanded, then brusquely turned away to continue loading the cannon.

"But I… Oh!" Antoinette sighed. Obviously Miguelito was done speaking on this matter. To either persist or disobey would displease him. "Oh, very well then. Come along, Priscilla!" And Antoinette led the way up to the silly girl's bedroom.

"Sit there," Antoinette ordered, pointing at the chair at the girl's vanity table.

Priscilla sat.

"Now," said Antoinette, wanting to get this over with quickly and not wanting to go back over any ground Miguelito had already covered, "what did Dr Loveless tell you?"

"Well," said the ultimate innocent, "he said I shouldn't ask if he kisses you or if you kiss Voltaire…"

Antoinette choked.

"…and that I should kiss Mr West, but not go beyond kissing, because that ends up with a baby. But he wouldn't tell me exactly what he meant when he said 'beyond kissing' and he didn't explain how that makes a baby. But you'll tell me all that, won't you, Miss Antoinette?" she said confidently. She looked up at the woman, then gasped, "But Miss Antoinette! What's wrong?"

"Nothing that killing Miguelito won't cure," Antoinette muttered under her breath. Very much under her breath, for she knew Miguelito had wired this room to be able to listen in on Priscilla's conversations with Mr West here. Still… She glanced at the girl, hoping _she _hadn't overheard, to find that Priscilla was still staring at her anxiously.

"Never mind," said Antoinette briskly. "Let's see…" She tapped a finger against her cheek for a bit, thinking, wondering how to explain matters so that someone like Priscilla would understand. "Oh, very well. It's like this, Priscilla. When… when a man and a woman… get married and they want to have a baby, they… they, ah… kiss, and they… cuddle and, um… Well…"

Priscilla was still staring at her. Antoinette could feel her face beginning to burn. "And… and then they…"

"Miss Antoinette?"

"Yes? Yes, what is it, Priscilla?" Antoinette seized gladly on the interruption.

Priscilla gave a pretty frown and said slowly, "You… you said a man and woman get married?"

"Yes."

"But… the boys at Angels of Charity, where I volunteer, you know. Most of them don't have fathers. Some of them, their fathers are dead, and others are gone, and others, well, their mothers never married anyone, so… So how does that work again?"

Oh! That Miguelito, putting her into this position! Antoinette clenched her teeth and fists in frustration. He never should have made Priscilla that promise, especially since he'd turned around and foisted the job off onto Antoinette! She could give him such a smack for this!

And then Antoinette's face smoothed. Oh, of course! Smiling, she laid a hand on Priscilla's shoulder and said, "It's very simple, my dear. If any man ever touches you - if he ever so much as lays a finger on you - other than when Mr West kisses you, of course, since Dr Loveless has permitted that - if a man ever touches you, Priscilla, you should just do this." And leaning down, Antoinette whispered a few words in the girl's ear.

Priscilla's eyes flew open. "I _should?"_

"Mm-hmm!" Antoinette smiled broadly. Problem solved, and without Miguelito overhearing! She patted the girl on the cheek, then swept from the room.

Priscilla sat there for a very long time, puzzling over what Miss Antoinette had told her, and over Dr Loveless' words as well. A frown suffused her pretty face. She didn't understand! Kissing? Cuddling? Babies? And especially that last bit, the advice Miss Antoinette had whispered in her ear. How was that supposed to work?

She was still sitting there when a knock came at the door.

"Come in!" she called.

The door opened and Voltaire entered. Smiling and bobbing his head at her, he announced, "Supper is ready, Miss Priscilla."

"Thank you, Voltaire," she said. "Oh! Can you help me with something, Voltaire?"

He nodded. "Yes, Miss Priscilla. You want me to take something down from up high for you?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. Not this time, thank you. It's just that… Miss Antoinette told me something, but I don't understand it."

Voltaire's face twitched. Understanding things was not his strong point. "What… what did she say?"

"She said if a man tries to touch me, I should, well," and she frowned mightily, "that I should slap him into the middle of next week."

Voltaire's eyebrows shot up, and his hand came up of its own to cover his cheek.

"But I don't understand," the girl went on. "How does that work? Am I really strong enough to slap a man and he winds up several days away from me?"

"I… I don't know, Miss Priscilla," said Voltaire. He only knew that he certainly didn't want her to try out such a thing on him! Not that a little bitty girl like her could hurt him, but he still didn't like getting slapped.

Priscilla shook her head. Oh, it was so confusing! "Dr Loveless said he'd tell me about the birds and the bees, but I still don't understand!" she wailed.

"Birds and bees?"

"Yes."

Voltaire grinned proudly. "Oh, I know all about birds and bees!" he said.

"You do?"

He nodded confidently. "Of course! Birds sing, and bees like flowers!"

"Oh!" Priscilla clapped her hands. "But that's so simple! Why didn't Dr Loveless just tell me that?"

"I don't know, Miss Priscilla."

Smiling, she hopped up and slipped her hand through the crook of Voltaire's arm for him to escort her down to supper. "Now I know exactly what to do!" she said. "If a man tries to sing with me, or if he brings me flowers, _that's_ when I slap him several days away! Right, Voltaire?"

Voltaire nodded happily. He was so glad to help.

And what's more, for once he'd even been smarter than Dr Loveless!

**FIN**


End file.
